Skip to main content

 

Our Life In Pieces

 

I’ve spoken to this topic before but I came across something that made me want to remind you of who you are. I came across an article this morning and it caught my attention because it is about an area of life that I have deep interest in. So, I would like to start with this quote from the book by Jack Myers, The Future of Men. He states, “Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders are tapping into what I’m calling a “Lean Out” generation of young, discouraged and angry men—men who are feeling abandoned by the thousands of years of history that defined what it meant to be a real man: to be strong; to be a provider; to be in authority; to be the ultimate decision maker; and to be economically, educationally, physically and politically dominant…”. In my efforts of working with men, it dawned on me some years ago that this is relatively true. Within the young men I speak to that come for advice or ask about meeting for coffee, the one trending facet of a conversation is that “their world isn’t defined very well.” There’s a lack of something solid, something clear and not always so opaque. Although it’s different faces, the question still seems the same, “why is it that so many things make no sense to me? Considering that there isn’t one template God uses to make men, it isn’t an easy question to tackle, much less try to define it all the while hoping it makes sense to my audience of one. This is the make up of today’s young adults, yet another uptick into their ever-fluctuating internal bubble that needs balancing and steadiness in order to correctly identify what is level. Do you see this too, or, perhaps you are one of the men I’m speaking about? How do you, personally, feel about this quote as it pertains to you? Does it reflect how you feel? Even a little bit or perhaps a lot of bit?


Let me ask you this, “what do YOU see when you look in a mirror”? Honestly…do you see a person that you like, admire, or maybe are even proud of? Are you confident in you and your abilities? If someone asked you, “what do you do” would you be excited to share what you do or would you be hesitant about your career or where you work? These are all questions that millions of men face daily. The truth is that aside from what you believe about yourself, none of these questions really matter because what matters is foundationally determined by you and your Designer. Your likes, dislikes, and quirkiness creep into all of life’s smallest and biggest decisions. Things such as foods, drinks, social friends, or even no friends at all. You are the only one that from a very young age began, to develop all of your acquired traits. All of your behaviors, the way you speak, the words you use…all of this was learned by you. All these things are learned specific to you and you alone. The good Lord designed you uniquely gifted, to just be you, only you, and no one else. So why try to be someone you were never meant to be?  

Just be you, only you, and no one else


You may feel like you didn’t get the proper instruction that all males need so that you can develop a healthy mindset and a more robust character. I will not diminish the fact that you may not have had someone since a young age to teach you but I can say this, “you may have made some terrible choices in life. You may have had an unimaginable childhood, but in many ways, most every other guy you see on the street, in church, or just at any public gathering, each has a story.” Fact of the matter is that their story is a personal song that means much to them. Each song may be sad, it may be happy, and it may even be a mix of both. I’m here to tell you…it doesn’t matter as much as you matter! You matter! Yes, your story is yours to tell or not, but as I listen to the ones that are shared with me, I see more there than just a story of someone’s life history. I have the benefit of an outsider looking in with no bias, knowledge, or heartstrings to these brothers’ past and I proudly can say that what I see are men that have the potential and the possibility of a warrior man, a man that did not let the negative in life destroy him. A giant of a man whose heart is as big as the Goliath he has slain over and over in life. I speak to these men day in and day out, and although they lacked something in their formidable years, today they reach out for help, for advice, sometimes just to ask if you wanna hang out for coffee or a movie. A bad upbringing didn’t put shackles on these boys. They don’t do life alone and isolated because if they’ve learned one thing it’s that when one isolates, he opens the door to the ghosts of his past to come in and that is the last thing he desires to revisit.

 

Look, in life you will face many moods and emotions. You will have good days and bad days and maybe some days that you really don’t want to get out of bed, but this is where you made the decision long ago that your day was not going to be identified by the sum total of all your good and bad. This decision can dictate the rest of your day. These are the decisions you make every day, but today you make them from a different mindset than from the mindset of years ago. God didn’t make you to be a wimp in life, to fear what’s around the next corner, but instead He gifted you with His best for just you and because of this, you can face any day, any issue, any person, anywhere, because even though your life may seem like it’s in pieces some days, the biggest and best piece is YOU and guess what? YOU MATTER!!!


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

THE HEART OF A CHAMPION

  During their basketball dominance, the Houston Rockets were almost defeated during their second championship run and one thing most enthusiasts remember was hearing the coach, Rudy Tomjanovich, quoting Kevin Johnson’s phrase, “never underestimate the heart of a champion”. He was referring to the Rockets team after they came back and won the title championship game. This was an incredible game, but more than that, it brought out the best of the best when it was needed most. I share this inspirational story because we as men aren’t always bringing our best during the times we need it most. At times we give in to pressure, to conflict, to the nay-sayers that convince us we cannot do something. Sometimes our A game turns out to be a B game. We are satisfied to move from the starting position to the second string. Why is that men? Why is it that we can so easily settle for a lesser us? I believe it has a lot to do with a man’s self-confidence. His unique personal makeup and all that...

A Good Old Fishing Story

As the fellowship of guys grows within our communitites, there seems to always be that one "fishing" story that is almost too hard to believe and somehow always trumps anyone else's story. You know exactly what I am referring to because most men have either told that story or hve been in a group where someone else tells the story. I think this is a story told round the world, so to speak. Men are men and as competitive as we are, we always want to have a better story than the rest of the pack. That's just the way men do things as part of fellowship with other men. I actually am witness to a story that, as I think about it, sounds impossible and exaggererated but trust me it's not since I actually was there at that very moment. So a couple of my buds and I planned a fishing trip for a few days and while there we each tried and tested artificial lures and some live bait. For the most part a few fish were caught but nothing to brag on. At least not until one of my bu...

Color My World

  Not that I’m being nosey, well, maybe sometimes I am, but I am absolutely mesmerized by listening to people as they talk with one another or to me. Obviously, it’s impossible for me to ascertain what is occurring in their minds, so I’m left to formulate that whatever is in their minds at that moment, is what may guide or steer that particular conversation. Something I’ve learned in my years of counseling and being a mentor, is that I must be very intentional when talking to someone, that I listen to what is being said, and just as important, to what is not being said. Active listening some folks may call it, but it’s the keen ability to listen deeply to someone and not just hear them. At times Active listening requires utilizing many of the other human senses to learn more about them. Like the cologne they have on, are they right or left handed, what are some repetitive words and phrases they use, and of course, asking the right questions. All this information goes a long way int...