I have a few guys that I guide and mentor and we meet individually throughout the week and then as a group once per month. I have to say that some of my greatest insights have come from them as they share their life and struggles. I have to confess the guys are still, shall we say, somewhat unabashed in their honesty and at times enough to make even a grown man blush. I have found that it is during these times, when they know they can be themselves, know there is no judgement or criticism, but also know that the love of God through Christ, has restored and refreshed the way they do life.
I preface my point with all of this only to impress the fact that I have noticed a trend in our conversations that qualify something I believe in and practice as often as I can. That is that when men come together, regardless of age, we see other men by the many things that separate us. In other words, those things that make us different, those things that can be traced back to each individual alone. We tend to first see and act on those traits or behaviors that are different from us. I used to be the same way but I learned along the way that what I see first sets up the stage for all the things I am going to believe about life and about someone else. So if this is what I choose to believe, then I will live out of this belief.
What if we were to see instead those things that unite us and make us more similar than we really know? What if we saw someone else with an understanding that like me, they are flawed too but certainly endowed with many of the same things that bring health and wellbeing to the table. Wouldn't that be a better way to view and have relationships with each other. In addition, this would set life up for a more enjoyable co-existence filled with respect, honor, and understanding. Just this vantage point would knock our togetherness out of the park. We are always going to see people in certain ways and how they treat us will determine so much about how we respond to them. The one thing I can say is that thanks to a loving God, that saw me for who I could be and not for who I was, I have a new life, purpose, and thoughts about all my next steps. I would want that for the men that have trusted me with their spiritual and emotional wellbeing and certainly for you dear reader.
I'm not naïve enough to believe that even this perspective will eliminate some fears, preconceived ideas, or profiling but the one thing I do know without a doubt is that a company of many men, having the same goals can conquer any obstacle and get this, they don't all have to be made from the same cloth. They just need to be unified in their effort for a greater good.
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