The Tin Man Saga

" Sticks and stones may break  my bones, but words will never  break  me." How many men have heard this phrase and how many more have spoken them? We use it as a metaphor to defend ourselves against verbal assaults or words that we don't take on as descriptive of us. Have we stopped to consider how this little harmless saying plays out in our lives? In all honesty, most every guy I have had the pleasure of working with, sooner or later share how certain words or phrases impacted their development. There were those that had a happy home life growing up and never really heard harsh words directed at them. Then there are those that as far back as they can remember were battered with disturbing and hurtful words. Words that left them with scars so deep that only God can heal them. With this in mind, I direct us back to the "sticks and stones" phrase and ask you again if you really and truly believe words don't impact an individual?   Are you aware that we were d...

  Yep, I said it, “we guys have to get a handle on the one thing we are good at and that is “mansplaining”. What is mansplaining one may ask? Well, as my wife defines it, “the process by which a male attempts to explain what a woman is trying to say to someone else” or literally a total communication failure. That’s “mansplaining” and it goes to show that the reason men grunt and point, is because of this very unique inability to verbally express others thoughts and opinions and sometimes not even their own. The mere reasons men don’t understand how women think and speak is because we were made to think without a mental pause button. That’s right, unlike our DVR gadget that allows to pause a show so we can get a sandwich or visit the library for a bit,  we do not have the same benefit as we listen to our wives or girlfriends to be able to pause them for a second. A button that would enable us to take information, process correctly, and then disseminate appropriately, and the...

It's 2 AM, my phone begins to vibrate and of course the first thing I think is that something has happened or someone has died. It's an awful gut feeling that almost always happens when one gets awakened suddenly by a phone so early in the morning.  The voice on the other end of the line says, "I'm sorry to wake you but I'm afraid...I don't know if I can continue with this". It's one of the young men that I have taken on as a mentee and is having a relapse in believing the lies he's been told all his life. My heart starts beating hard and I know this moment is crucial in helping him regain his foundational truth. This is one of many hurdles men will deal with in their journey. "What are you afraid of" I ask and he responds, "I'm afraid that I don't measure up to what God is asking of me. I feel like I should be punished for all my sins and things I've done wrong in my life. I feel like such a hypocrite even to think that ...

I have a few guys that I guide and mentor and we meet individually throughout the week and then as a group once per month. I have to say that some of my greatest insights have come from them as they share their life and struggles. I have to confess the guys are still, shall we say, somewhat unabashed in their honesty and at times enough to make even a grown man blush. I have found that it is during these times, when they know they can be themselves, know there is no judgement or criticism, but also know that the love of God through Christ, has restored and refreshed the way they do life. I preface my point with all of this only to impress the fact that I have noticed a trend in our conversations that qualify something I believe in and practice as often as I can. That is that when men come together, regardless of age, we see other men by the many things that separate us. In other words, those things that make us different, those things that can be traced back to each individual alone. W...

   This morning I read an article about Mavericks owner Mark Cuban being quoted as saying, "Leadership starts with caring-but not in the way you think. As a leader, you can talk about targets. About goals. About missions and visions. You can communicate and connect and engage in an effort to inspire and motivate, but in most cases, your employees will simply smile and nod and go back to doing their jobs the way they always have. No one starts caring about the business they work for until they know the business cares about them." I believe that this fundamental truth is what people are all about. This truth alone has grown a people to reach their goals and dreams, but the lack of it has wiped out the visions and hope for many. The reality is that this attribute is a choice...a choice to be someone or be no one. I don't know Mr. Cuban personally but I could not stand up and applaud more than to his practical belief in the way he leads others. A goal I set up for myself as i...

  Men have something built in them that somehow pushes them to believe that we are strongest when we are an army of one, that we can conquer kingdoms all by ourselves and that to ask another guy for assistance is a sign of weakness. Truth be told, a man has a hard time going to the grocery store alone and bringing home all the items wifey mentioned. Ask any wife and see if the statement isn't generally true. In my specific line of work I've come across many "alpha" men who have a very personalized way of doing life...not that it's wrong or right, it's just so indicative of that guy's personality or character. We all have this and function out of it, from it, or towards it at any given time. The fact is that many people try to correct this behavior by using some sort of modification technique. I feel like when we do this it's almost like trying to take the man out of how God created him and make him into a template of how God made me. I believe that if ...

 September 27, 2020 There haven't been many years, if any, that compare to 2020 in the unexpected occurrences all around us. We have walked through so many things that we have never experienced before and for those of you that may be similar to me in likes and dislikes, then your world hasn't changed much at least on the inside. Hopefully the next year will be the total opposite of this year in being a more in control world, but as we all know, chances are just chances and change is always evolving.  However, one thing that doesn't really change is the make-up of a man. We have unique traits, characteristics, and an incredible personality developed thru the years and it has given birth to the black hat me and the white hat me. And you too my friend wear a white hat at times, and on occasion, the black hat.  This is what is truly "me" when you gaze in the mirror, and you do...but what do you see? Do you see a beautiful you (and you don't have to be female t...